Why you shouldn't get drunk at an Airport

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this, ‘this can’t possibly be real’ I say to myself…It was. This queued the insular laughter from me. How on earth did this happen? Well the guy put his bag on the luggage belt and being drunk proceeded to lay down on it and feel asleep. This resulted him going through the x ray machine. I would have loved to seen the airport security person who saw the body on the monitor and what he was thinking when he saw that image pop up on his screen.


Here is the link to the article:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug/09/norweigan-tourist-xray-rome-airport

When a guy is not hubby material

I did a blog not too long ago on ‘What’s not wifey material’ so I have decided to do another but this time on what makes a guy not boyfriend material.


He rings you on private number

If every time he rings you, you find yourself always answering the call like this:

‘Hello whose this’ 

His just not hubby material. Why is he ringing you on private number some next shifty behaviour.

He only rings you at late night hours

Either his internet connection has cut out or his still on a dial up connection.  He has no pornographic material to help him out in his hour of need. So he scrolls down his phone and he sees your number and thinks

‘This girl is so on me. I bet she will send me some pictures or even vids if I tell her I really miss her’

You’re not even a booty call you below a booty call you’re a five finger shovel, five knuckle shuffle, a flog the log, you’re genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion in other words you’re wank material. If he only rings you at late night hours he is just hubby material.

You only see him on the weekend when his drunk

His gone out raving or just out to a bar, not only has he not been successful in getting someone back he hasn’t even been successful in getting a 2:00am girl (basically the worse girls at kicking out time of a club who nobody was drunk enough to pick up) So he thinks of you, he rings your phone and you see him on your caller I.D. and you overjoyed to hear from him even though his drunk. He asks you can he come round yours; you’re like ‘Yes please do’. He comes round; drills you and leaves in the morning where you won't  hear from him until the next time he has an unsuccessful night. This behaviour equals to him just not being hubby material.

The only time you go on a date is to his bedroom watching DVDs'

He doesn’t even care to take you to the pub or bar this equates to two things

1. He thinks your  bum ugly but hasn’t had sex for a while so his desperate, but not desperate enough to be seen out in public with you.

2. No talking, no trying to disguise what he wants he just wants to DRILL!!!!!!!!!!!

His just not hubby material

Rude Boys

If you're 16 and below and act like a rude boy you can be forgiven as you’re still a ‘boy’ a definition of a ‘boy’ is ‘A young male human, usually child or adolescent. When he becomes an adult he's described as a man.’

If you’re are above the age of 16 and still acting like a rude boy you're ‘pathetic’ If your struggling to figure out what a Rude boy is let me give you a definition of one:

They look like they have fallen out of a JD sports catalogue

They talk like Sloth out of the Goonies.
(See video below)

Rude Boys can usually be heard saying things like:

‘Money over everything’

‘Money over hoes’

‘My mixtape is dropping soon’

‘Fuck the Police’

‘Can I have the two piece meal boss’

‘Ketchup and mayonnaise boss’

‘I got my last £20 and I’m gonna pick up a scores of weed’

‘Nah blud man don’t read books I’m not a batty man’

‘I can’t read fam’

‘I got beef with my baby mums’

I could go on. They also have a knack for blaming anything and everyone for their problems. For instance, I can’t read because of the lluminati, I can’t get a job because of the Illuminati , I got 4 kids by 4 different girls' because of the Illuminati, and so on. Certain girls love rude boys but that’s cool because these girls are just as dumb as the guys they like so they are welcome to each other. Rude boys rarely grow up hence the ‘boy’ in rude they still do the stuff they were doing when they was 15 when they are 35 but with suitable differences, instead of hanging outside the chicken shop, they hang outside the betting shop or the pub but doing the same thing. When they used to stand outside the chicken shop they could be seen not buying chicken when they stand outside the betting shop they can be seen not placing any bets, as they stand outside the pub they can be seen not buying drinks. Why is this? Because they are broke. Rude boys never have any money even when they have money.

Girls that don’t pay on dates

You get into the bar or pub with your date. Being a gentlemen you offer to buy her a drink. The first drinks are finished time to go to the bar to get another round………….the girl doesn’t offer to get the next round, but just sits there blankly expecting you to get the next drinks, and ultimately all the drinks for the rest of the night. I am not your man, this is the first time I have taken you out I hardly know you, but yet your taking money of me like I am your man. In a world where women scream independence gassed up on Beyonce and Jessie J songs. Your independence is not showing through tonight is it luv.  How can you sit there and feel comfortable allowing your date to shell out round after round for you when it’s the first date there are several names for women like that; pikey trampy, scumbag, and freeloader. Now the first date isn’t a sure thing for anything this first date could be the only date, and somewhere on that date the girl will know it, but yet will still continue to drink your money. So it’s alright for the guy to spend money on you but his not good enough to be with you another word springs to mind which I shall not retort. If you’re going on a date it should be 50/50 you’re both in the same boat where one or the other may think ‘you know what you’re not really for me’.