Solange memes

Ok I am not really a meme guy, but if you're on any social networking platform it is impossible to escape them, like trying not to tread in dog excrement whilst walking through a dog shit infested park at night. So most of us have seen the video of Solange Knowles doing her best impression of Jean Claude Van Damme in Kick Boxer. Practising her moves on her brother in law Jay-z who wasn't a willing sparring partner. Her violent attack on him in that elevator has sparked a online meme frenzy across twitter, instagram and Facebook. Out of all them I've picked the ones that did make me giggle...a little.

HAHAHA that grin though

I loled out loud to this one

Not really a meme but still a giggle

Well we all get the pun here

The malevolent treatment of Tim Sherwood

It was coming, we could all see it coming, like the Di Matteo sacking a few seasons ago, you just knew like Abramovich Levy didn’t have much faith in Tim Sherwood to take the club to where he envisions it to be, only seeing him as a stop gap, a band aid on a bullet wound, water instead of milk on your cereal…you catch my drift a means to a end. I think Sherwood did a good job, it was never going to be an easy one and I believe he did well. I also think the way in which Spurs have treated him during his tenure to be utterly disgraceful. Sherwood was one of their own, a much liked figure at the club who was a Spurs player during his career, going on to work at the club as a technical co-ordinator, to then to answer the call to take over from AVB to only be much maligned and treated with contempt during his managerial reign.

Do I believe as Sherwood said himself If he was in charge for the whole season he would have guided Tottenham to a top 4 finish ‘No!’ I don’t believe anyone could have got Tottenahm fourth place this season. Not even Paul Daniels and his a magician.  It would have taken a miracle, a Derren Brown magic trick of epic proportions for Tottenham to finish fourth, for one sole fact, the sale of Gareth Bale. You can’t expect to sell your best players and push on, Bale was their match winner plain and simple, he scored 8 winning goals last season, literally winning games for Tottenham himself. Then you sell him, going on to buy 7 players, 7 players who have never played in the Premier league, if the addictive football simulator game ‘Football Manager’ has taught anyone is that ‘too many new signings in a short space of time can upset the balance and rhythm of your team’.  This was ever so apparent in the early stages of this season, Tottenham were out of sorts, the balance of the team was all over the place.  Couple this with the fact AVB didn’t want half of these players makes a recipe for disaster.

Sherwood came in and steadied the ship. He said he felt like a "supply teacher", with players being told by their agents he would not be at the club next season.  How any manager could work under these conditions is a mystery, you wake up to endless sport gossip columns of this manager and that manager being linked with your job, while your barley into a 12 month contract, your fending off questions about ‘will you still be the manager next season?’  on a regular basis, it’s embarrassing and it comes from the top. If Levy was supportive of Sherwood squashing all qualms, it would have stopped the humiliating questions and articles, but he didn’t which I see as disrespectful to Tim Sherwood.

Sherwood was the 12^th Manager to be sacked this season, in a climate where it’s the done thing to hire foreign managers for the top teams rather than English ones. I believe Sherwood will be back at another club to showcase his evident managerial abilities.

Not all Men are Wankers…Just the ones you pick

‘All men are cheating scumbags’

‘All men are pricks’

‘You can’t trust men’

‘Men are wankers’

‘All men are players’

We all know that woman that constantly verbally bashes men in this way to anyone who will listen.  Telling you for a fact that there is ‘No good men out there’ Jog on! Now I am not saying us men are 100 per cent benevolent, nobody is man or woman. My gripe is if you actual look at the choice of men that these women have picked then you will see the actual problem.

‘The guys are complete wankers…and the women in question knew it before they even got with them’

If you walk through a dog shit infested park, expect to tread in dog shit. If you hook up with a narcissistic, player expect to be shitted on. You can’t knowingly get into something that you know is bad and then expect to cry about it and say all men are the same, when you constantly knowingly get with idiots.

Now there are many cases where women fall victim to guys who just totally trick them into believing they’re serious about them, that they want a relationship with them. Then soon as the men get what they want, they are gone, but I’m not talking about those tricksters or those situations. I’m talking about women who get involved with men knowing that they’re players and wankers.

I was watching First dates, and there was a guy on there that had a really exciting good job, ambitious, and had a lot in common with his date. Who then put him in the friend zone. This women in question called herself a massive raver, loved partying, described herself as spontaneous. One person on twitter said this about her

Chelsea is "spontaneous"apparently! I often find that is usually just polite for raving psycho!!!! #firstdates

And another guy described her like this

Chelsea will end up with Yemi when she's approaching forty and panicking. #firstdates #friendzone

Another girl called Corinne went on two awful dates with guys that were pretty much wankers, with her second date resorting her to tears.  To which she asked herself the question along this lines ‘Why can’t I found a nice guy who will like me for me?’

She then goes on a real good 3^rd date, with a real nice guy. At the end we found out nothing comes of the date.

My point of these examples is that there are tons of nice guys out there who will treat women with the respect they’re looking for and give them the romance they’re seeking, but they constantly overlook these guys for the wankers that they moan about.  Repeating the same pattern over and over again:

Meet wanker – give heart to wanker – wanker shits on it - Meet wanker – give heart to wanker – wanker shits on it - Meet wanker – give heart to wanker – wanker shits on it

Till finally the penny drops;

‘I’m getting on a bit now, all I’ve been dating is players and bad-boys I need to settle down and found myself a nice guy’

Those nice guys who chased after you, with you only to ignore them and friendzone them, are not around anymore, as they have settled down with nice girls who didn’t overlook them.

To quote that tweet again

Chelsea will end up with Yemi when she's approaching forty and panicking. #firstdates #friendzone

Don’t be a Chelsea.

The Texting Blues: The Post first Date Text

We’ve all been there with the post first date blues. You’ve gone on a date with someone whose company you really enjoyed and for a brucey bonus you also find them physically attractive. You get home, you text them to let them know you got home safely and to see if they did as well, and you think fuck it I will throw in I had a good time as well, you get a benevolent reply back and you find yourself imagining how good it would be to be their partner, the couple holidays your going to go on sun bathing by the pool hand in hand, your wedding your kid’s names, where in which you then softly fall asleep with optimism in the air.

You awake with a newfound energy, and a MGM musical spring in your step. Your commute to work doesn't seem so drag as you re-read the text from last night with optimism still filling the air. Then BANG!!!! Reality hits you:

‘I told them I was attracted to them telling them I would like to see them again, but they didn't say they was attracted to me back. Are they just being diplomatic?’

You start nitpicking and the paranoia kicks in

‘If they were attracted to me surely they would have said it back?’

You re-read the text again and now it reads like a standard auto reply for a polite fuck off. The post date text that actual means:

‘You’re a nice person sane and not weird, I don’t find you attractive, I had a nice time in the sense of, the time I allotted myself before making my getaway wasn't that painful. Please don’t text me as that way I don’t have to make up shitty excuses to get out of dates with you bye’

Your smile turns to a frown; your MGM musical spring has turned into a limp walk you’re crushed. You then start to think you reading too much into it, that you’re just being weird and paranoid, you tell yourself to chill the fuck out. Then the eternal battle that men and women have been fighting since the birth of the SMS, do I text them again or do I wait for them to text me?

It’s horrible the waiting its simply horrible. Waiting for that reply text after you’ve bitten the bullet and asked for another date or you’ve told them your undying love and now you’re waiting patiently with anguish like it's your GCSE’S, A-levels, degree and Gum clinic results all rolled into one.

Sometimes you get a reply back, other times you get total air-pie nothing at all. I don’t know what sex does it more brutal women or men? Women will argue men are total wankers for this, but ladies you’re just as brutal, but we blokes are guilty for the ‘Out of the Blue Horny Text.’ Which is a guy will take a girl out on a first date. The date will go well, really well the girl will text, won’t get a reply back, she will text again due to the fact both parties had such a good time ‘why would he ignore me?’ she will then get the shittest excuse ever for why he can’t see her again and then 5 months later without no contact the guy will send a message out of the blue with something along the lines of ‘Do you fancy a fuck?’

To conclude women and men, don’t be that wanker and put someone through the texting blues. Just be straight up and honest about if you’re on it or not. To be fair you get called a wanker for being honest (no matter how polite you’re about it) anyways, but its better to be honest and get an earful of abuse than giving someone radio silence leaving them thinking  ‘what did they do wrong?’ Better to be a wanker for doing the right thing.

Assassins Creed 4: The Best Ending to a Video Game ever?

After the much-maligned Assassins Creed 3 (which I actual enjoyed) Assassins Creed 4 has been much praised, even setting a new precedent in open world gaming with its ambitious scope.

What makes the ending of this game so impressive for me, is the journey that you're taken on with Edward. Unlike the previous main protagonists since Altair, Edward isn’t thrust into the world of the Assassins through personal tragedy, it’s his lust for treasures that unwittingly does.

In the beginning he only sides with the Assassins as the alliance benefits him in his quest for the great wealth that he yearns for, but as his actions cause disastrous consequences for others he sets out to make things right. Which makes his journey more heartfelt, in my opinion a warts and all sort of tale.

Hands down my eyes did water at the ending. There has only ever been two video game endings that have left me an emotional wreak, the wreaked feeling you get at the end of a film or episode of a TV Show, which has a tear-jerking ending. Red Dead Redemption is one of them and Assassin Creed 4 is the other. I would go further to say this is one of the greatest moments in the whole franchise it is that good. Because it really gets you, right there in the heart, it’s naked and it’s raw, it’s simply brilliant.

You can can watch the ending here: AC4 Ending Scene

Revolution a must watch TV Show

After much deliberation from me, if I should watch this show or not, I finally have. Much of my deliberation in watching this show was based on some of its reviews. Some people said one of the main protagonist’s Charlie Matheson  (Tracy Spiridakos) was incredibly ignoring, others said the science behind the premise of the show was too far out there and unbelievable, others moaned that the characters where far too clean looking to belong in a post-apocalyptic world.

The moans & groans about the science of the premise being to far fetch and the characters too clean looking, flew over my head by a country mile. Hello its Television it’s a genre show it doesn’t matter if it’s far fetched its science fiction.  For the too clean part zzzzzzzzzzzzzz is what I think to do that.  What I did found off-putting was the moans & groans about the main protagonist Charlie Matheson being overly annoying. It doesn’t bold well for any show if one of the main characters is annoying. 

So after bingeing on the first season, in which I watched 20 episodes back to back within a week and a half, is Charlie annoying? Yes in certain parts but not enough for you not to turn of or not root for her. The problems with the character lay within the writing rather than the actress and her acting abilities. At times it seems the writers have hit a brick wall with how to develop Charlie’s character and they make her do and say things that don’t ring true with her personality.  As Season 1 progressed the writing of her character has gotten better to the point where in Season 2 you can see the writers know where they are at with her character as the writing has been spot on.

Charlie’s journey is a joy to behold from the naïve girl we saw in the early days of season 1 to an arse kicking Buffy the Vampire slayer type strong woman we see now. Her transformation was solid and believable

Billy Burke who plays Miles Matheson, shines as a leading man from the very first minute we see him on screen. I believe his character and everything he is about. He is a well-written and developed character and Billy Burke excels with the material showcasing his acting abilities.

There isn’t a dull performance in this show.  The acting is solid from all the actors everybody shines. You’ve actors who have to portray good and bad within their characters.  You’ve characters that are good people doing bad things to fix bad things they’ve done. You’ve characters that are bad due to the circumstances that they have been placed. The duality of the good and bad within them is expanded on through flashbacks, which sheds light on their motives.

This show will surprise you. It’s a show where the stakes are very high very, very high. This was showcased to me by episode 4. These frighteningly high stakes have continued.  As a viewer you’re constantly unsure how things will pan out for the main characters you fear for their safety, you think you know how it will all work out but then you’re surprised with the actual outcome.

It's a show in which make you come back for more, making you literally count the days till next the episode because the last one ended on a jaw dropping hook. Watch this show I can’t stress this enough you will not be disappointed.

The Random Facebook add or Twitter follow

It’s a myth there is nothing random about this act

We have all been there. We’ve logged onto our Facebook or Twitter to see we’ve a new friend request or follower we click it to see who it is and lo and behold we haven’t a scooby doo who this person is. No mutual friends no nothing. We then send them a message politely asking:

‘Hi sorry but do I know you’

In which we get the dreaded:

‘Nah just a random add’

Nah just a random follow

A random add/follow is never a random add/follow; there is no such thing. What the fuck is a random add/follow anyways?  It’s a bait manoeuvre made by someone with a clear-cut motive. Both sexes are equally bad for doing this, listed below are some of the reasons:

• They simply want to sleep with you but they are not going to let on with already looking desperate by randomly adding or following you.

• You’re being set up…no you’re not paranoid you’re being set up either by someone you have recently been seeing and they are trying to see how committed you’re by getting someone they know to throw themselves at you.

• Your crazy ex partner wants to find out if you’re seeing someone new, or extracting information on you about your relationship with him or her.

• They are a creepy pervert (woman or man)

• A certified weirdo 

• A fraudster trying to swindle you

So you see there is nothing random with this act.  So in future beware the random add/follow.