How you know you're a Black male

This blog entry is about the certain stuff us black men encounter on a regular basis:

White girls with big arses automatically think you want to fuck them

Non-black fat women automatically think you want to date them

White middle class girls from the suburbs will be scared of you.

White middle class man will automatically think they can buy drugs of you, or you will know someone who can sell to them

At any music concert you will at least be asked twice ‘mate you got any pills’

People will automatically think you’re a great dancer

People will automatically think you’re a fast runner and could easily out run the roadrunner

Your white friends humour towards you will always consist of things like this:

When the lights go out or you’re in a dark place they will always say ‘Where did he go?’

When you say your hungry someone will quickly say ‘Do you want rice and peas?’

When you go out for and someone asks what do you want, someone will pipe up and say  ‘Rum and coke’

You will always get the so is it true what they say about you guys?’ (down below if your lost)

You always fell shifty no matter what when you pass the police

 If anything goes missing amongst you and your non-black friends you automatically fell like the prime suspect

How to tell she likes black guys

You know when you’re at the bar or on the train and you catch the eye of a very decent looking female and you thinking;

‘Raah she’s quite pretty is she on it? as she might have just had something in her eye but I’m quite sure she winked at me.’

Then your eyes cross again and now you’re thinking

‘hmm she still might have something in here eye but the big question here is does she like black guys?’

Be it if she is Asian, Black, Mixed Race, Oriental or White, there are many tell tale signs that you can look for in a female to obtain whether she likes black guys or not. I have compiled a tongue in cheek list below of the most common:

• Her display picture on her Facebook, Twitter, BBM or Whatsapp is off her back off (or lack of back off in some deluded cases. You know the bait carefully choreographed shot with her back to the camera with her batty poking out and her head turned looking over her shoulder towards the camera like ‘O I didn’t know you was going to take a picture girly I am so surprised’
• She throws up gang signs in her pictures I have said it before it looks ludicrously stupid when guys do it ‘you ain’t in no West coast gang fool’ (said in my best Snopp Dogg impression) but I digress girls who throw up gang signs in their pictures like their guys with colour and I’m not talking St Tropez here.
• If you see her out wearing a Snapback, high tops and a pair of jeggings combo then yes she likes black guys
• Her baby names for her future children consist of, Deshayne, Lebron, Demarcus, Drake (LoLz),
• They go crazy when they see black or mixed race babies and they can be heard saying ‘Awww I so want one’ talking like the child’s a Louis Vuittin bag
• She likes Funky house....I mean who really actual likes Funky House male or female?
• They go IF Bar (for those who live in London you will know what I am on about)
• They idolise Niki Minaj and believe the world would be a better place if she ran it
• And Rhiannon should be her second in command as she is the most qualified to do so