Where are all the normal black people?

What do Top Boy, Ill Manors and every other Adam Deacon film, all have in common? Send your answers on a post card...if you can’t wait that long I will tell you now, they all show the black community (moderately black men) in a negative light.  Asking the question where are all the normal black people? Because  For every gangster film you have about a white person (, The Layer Cake, ) You have a Billy Elliot,  A film about a young white boy from a working class family, pursuing his dream of being a dancer. Not every young black guy who lives in London, shots crack and goes around shooting anyone who so much as looks at him in a wrong way, or treads on his new Nike Air Max’s.

Black communities and men in these dramas are shown in such a pessimistic light living outside the norms of society, with their lifestyles and communities resembling the lawlessness of the Wild West. Now I am not saying these stories shouldn't be told, as stuff like this does happen my argument is not against trying to depict real life, my argument is when the depiction of real life gets blurred into being everyday life in the Black community. This is not everyday life this isn't everyone’s life in the Black Community which begs the question, ‘Where are all the normal black people?’ what about the stories about black people who stir clear of that way of life depicted in these dramas.

The stories like Anthony Joshua’s who won Heavyweight Boxing gold at the London 2012 Olympics or Nicola Adams the first woman to win a Boxing medal at the Olympics (and in style winning gold). There are these stories of positive success out there which can be put to drama and captivate the audience.  For instance Chuka Umunna (mixed race his mother is Irish/English his father Nigerian), the shadow business secretary who is being hotly tipped to be the Labour party’s first black leader. What about his story of reaching that point to be tipped like that? How about Helen Grant (English mother, Nigerian Father), who became the first black woman to represent the Conservatives at Westminster. What about stories like that?

In my own personal opinion it all stems from lazy film-making. The story of the street smart black kid hustling drugs has been utterly battered to death like the shit fish you get in your back end Fish and Chip shop. When writers/film-makers could get their fingers out of their arses and work for their coin and make dramas that portray resilience and extreme intelligence in the pursuit of high achievement by which can still entertain and inspire the young to be better. 

Hungry guys = Gassed up girls

This blog entry is about hungry guys. Now before I go on I want to make it clear I am not talking about a bloke who skipped breakfast and his bellies grumbling and there is still like 4 hours till his lunch break. I am talking about guys who will literally try to sleep with anything that looks remotely female. These hungry guys mess it up for the rest of us guys (who are not hungry) when it comes to girls.  A hungry guy will say anything, do anything, to get a girl, his tactics in achieving this goal are bumbling at best.

For example this a normal text conversation a normal guy would have with a girl

Guy: Hi you alright how is it going?

Girl: Fine thanks you?

Guy: Yeah I’m good, have you got any plans for the weekend?

Girl: I’m out Friday night otherwise then that nothing you?

Guy: Nothing planned, well do you fancy doing something Saturday nothing heavy just a couple of drinks somewhere?

Girl: Urm not sure as I probs be hungover

Guy: LoL yeah we both know you love your double vodkas, no worries maybe some over time then?

Girl: haha I do love my vodka.....well if your not busy Sunday we could do something

Now a hungry guys BBM conversation as Hungry guys don’t text they BBM or whatsapp

Hungry Guy: Wa Gwan

Girl: Huh?

Hungry Guy: Where r u?

Girl: I’m at my house

Hungry Guy: Cum link me

Girl: No! It’s like 1:30 in the morning

Hungry Guy: Cum link me

Girl: I said no!

Hungry Guy: Skeen

No Reply from Girl

Hungry Guy: Your tits like peng in your display pic what size are they?

Girl: Why am I going to tell you what size they are it’s none of your business?

Hungry Guy: Manz a tit man innit, I need to know what size they r so I know wot Im dealing with when u link me

Girl: I told you I am not linking you! Not now! Not ever!

Hungry Guy: Skeen, send man a pic of your tits innit

No reply from girl

Hungry Guy: I like u innit babez thats why I wanna see those titties

No reply from girl

Hungry Guy: Cum link me

No reply from girl

Hungry Guy: Or I cum link u innit manz got a whip

As you have guessed it a hungry guy has no tact or game whatsoever, his sole purpose is to get girls as quickly as possible. Now you’re probably thinking well a hungry guy just sounds like a player what’s the difference?  Besides the obvious that players have game (otherwise how would they play all those girls lolz) hungry guys don’t, but the fundamental difference is a player is usually a very narcissistic person, who has a line which he will not cross in belittling himself, when it comes to the chase of a girl. Hungry guys have no depth to the level they would steep to when it comes to belittling themselves just to get a titty picture let alone actual sex.

Earlier in the entry I said that ‘Hungry guy’s fuck it up for the rest of us guys who are not hungry’ why? Well like players fuck it up for us guys who are not players by destroying the girls trust in men they had played. Hungry guys fuck it up for us by gassing up girls heads into believing they are celebrities.

How do Hungry guys gas up girls? Well by the constant attention they give them. We all know plenty of girls who stick up screen munches of their dead BBM conversations from a hungry guy pasting it all over their different social networking pages, usually with the caption ‘look at this fool’ or with a hast tag #Nogame, but why is this guy on your BBM or why are you texting him if his a fool? Simple reason these girls have gotten so high of the gas that they love the attention of these hungry guys like it’s their mini fan club. 

So if you’re a girl reading this entry I will give you a list of a few symptoms to check to see if you suffer from

‘Highly gassed of Hungry guys disease’

• You have like way over 200 contacts on your BBM the majority being random guys you do not know or have ever met
• You have your BBM on twitter on you bio bit
• You screen munch most of your conversations on BBM you have with men
• Your display pic at one stage on your BBM, Whatsapp, or anyone of the others has been a cleavage shot, a picture of your tongue bar, you finger in your mouth in a sexual manner or just you in your knickers and bra(over gassed)
• And you have gotten really pissed off when none of the hungry guys you have on your BBM or whatsapp do not make a comment covered in sexual innuendo about your picture (see above)

Now if you are a guy reading this and you want to know if you suffer from Hungry Guy Syndrome I have also compiled a self diagnosis list

• You add random girls on Facebook who you have no mutual friends with
• You have lost count on the amount of times you have sent pictures of your penis to random girls
• You have sent a video of you playing with yourself to a girl (If you have done this you suffer highly from Hungry Guy Syndrome and you should go see a doctor)
• When you text girls 4 times out of 5 the reply back from her usually is this ‘Who is this?’
• You put your BBM pin everywhere
• You constantly lie to girls when they ask you where you got their numbers from
• You message random girls on Facebook dodgy messages such as ‘Spit or Swallow’ not even ‘do you’ just ‘Spit or Swallow
•  You have an account on Chatroulette                        

How to tell she likes black guys

You know when you’re at the bar or on the train and you catch the eye of a very decent looking female and you thinking;

‘Raah she’s quite pretty is she on it? as she might have just had something in her eye but I’m quite sure she winked at me.’

Then your eyes cross again and now you’re thinking

‘hmm she still might have something in here eye but the big question here is does she like black guys?’

Be it if she is Asian, Black, Mixed Race, Oriental or White, there are many tell tale signs that you can look for in a female to obtain whether she likes black guys or not. I have compiled a tongue in cheek list below of the most common:

• Her display picture on her Facebook, Twitter, BBM or Whatsapp is off her back off (or lack of back off in some deluded cases. You know the bait carefully choreographed shot with her back to the camera with her batty poking out and her head turned looking over her shoulder towards the camera like ‘O I didn’t know you was going to take a picture girly I am so surprised’
• She throws up gang signs in her pictures I have said it before it looks ludicrously stupid when guys do it ‘you ain’t in no West coast gang fool’ (said in my best Snopp Dogg impression) but I digress girls who throw up gang signs in their pictures like their guys with colour and I’m not talking St Tropez here.
• If you see her out wearing a Snapback, high tops and a pair of jeggings combo then yes she likes black guys
• Her baby names for her future children consist of, Deshayne, Lebron, Demarcus, Drake (LoLz),
• They go crazy when they see black or mixed race babies and they can be heard saying ‘Awww I so want one’ talking like the child’s a Louis Vuittin bag
• She likes Funky house....I mean who really actual likes Funky House male or female?
• They go IF Bar (for those who live in London you will know what I am on about)
• They idolise Niki Minaj and believe the world would be a better place if she ran it
• And Rhiannon should be her second in command as she is the most qualified to do so

Black guys acting white

'It’s a sad world where being black and trying to get educated is seen as trying to be white'

Choc Ice, Coconut, Bounty, what do these words have in common? They are used as a derogatory slur when describing a black person trying to be white. From personal experience I know what it is like to be called a coconut, a bounty, my friends used to call me these words when we were growing up. I am a baby of the Brit Pop era, Oasis, Blur, Suede, Kula Shaker, Ash, and Garbage the list of these bands from that era of music can go on. I was a massive Oasis fan one of my favourite songs of all time is ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ I know all the words to it and several of their other hits. I loved reading and creative writing. The things I was interested in was seen as weird, why? Because I was Black, my friends (white and Black) could not understand how I could like stuff like that, as I was black it is not the things black people are into.

I remember a friend introducing me once to a girl he had just meet saying:

‘This is my mate, he is a white man in disguise, and he likes Oasis how weird is that?’

It’s understandable at that age for kids in Secondary school not to try and be different and poke fun at others who are as the consequences of not fitting in can result into being ostracised and bullied. I didn't get bullied for what I liked in school, maybe because I played football for the school team and that I hung around with the so called in crowd that I got away with it, or maybe it was my fierce nature to do what I want and like what I liked I don’t know, but what I do know there is a set template that black guys have to follow in order to be viewed as being black and in many people’s eyes i didn’t follow it.

Fast forward to me in my late 20’s A few days ago a woman said this to me in comment to a blog entry I wrote last year;

‘I read your blog, and in my opinion a white guy acting black is pretty bad, but a black guy acting white is even worse.’

Her whole argument was based on that Black men either break dance or body pop (based on probably watching too much Britain’s Got Talent), rap, sing or just sell drugs, and for a black man to go to University or even simply try to articulate his opinions on issues that affect our society today in a blog is him trying to be white. I was gobsmacked due to the woman’s age she was 52. This brings me onto what Barack Obama said in 2004 in his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention:  

‘Children can’t achieve unless we raise their expectations and turn off the television sets and eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white.’

It is these low expectations of what a black man can and can’t do, that is damaging a generation. Young black guys who are afraid to be deemed as different by knuckling down and studying or liking things that might be deemed as too white for them to like.

It is more rewarding and cool to be a so called ‘bad man’ a ‘Top boy’ at school then it is to be a smart articulate one, especially if you’re black. Every guy I knew who was that bad man at school have always told me they wished they had tried harder at school and how that they’re going to make sure their kids knuckle down. Think about all that lost potential of some of these guys who knows what they could have achieved?

I have mentioned several times this template of being a Black man, now I will detail it to you this has been complied by many years of experience.

Most like rap music

Thinks reading books are for dickheads

Almost went to prison

Smokes weed

Can dance like Chris Brown

At least owns one pair of Nike Air Max’s

And wear the laces in a ludicrous way

Never heard of Indie music

Thinks Oasis is just a fruit drink

Puts an ‘S’ on the end of every word ‘I don’t know how to use the internets’ ‘I want an iphones’ ‘nah man I’m not on Facebooks’

Is Caribbean

Doesn't wear the shoes kickers (a girl actual said to me a  few years back when commenting on my Kickers real black men don’t wear Kickers)

In all seriousness this is an issue that has been affecting black communities all across the world. It is sad that it is seen as a black kid trying to act white because he wanted to be educated. It is something that needs to be addressed quickly.

A sleazy guy in a sleazy scenario

A typical failed attempt of a guy trying to get back into a girls house.

Boy: Can I come back to yours?

Girl: No I am not that type of girl

Boy: Ok I just walk you to your front door

.... Later on at the front door

Now you’re thinking because you have walked her all the way back talking to her and doing everything all those magazines say ‘Ask her loads of questions and let her talk about herself’ hoping that she will think you’re not like the rest (which you are) and that you’re a gentleman with her warming to the idea of letting you back in so you ask again.

Boy: I really think your beautiful you going to let me in?

Girl: No because I know what will happen

Boy:  Ok can I just come in and use your toilet?

Girl: I am not going to fall for that one.

Boy:  I promise you if you let me in I won’t try anything we could just cuddle and stuff I make you a cup of tea and taste (seriously clutching at straws now)

Girl: You have my number if you want to see me again text me and we do something.

In reality you won’t ever text her unless it’s like 2:05 and you’re in the Student union drunk with no girls.

Why you shouldn't get drunk at an Airport

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this, ‘this can’t possibly be real’ I say to myself…It was. This queued the insular laughter from me. How on earth did this happen? Well the guy put his bag on the luggage belt and being drunk proceeded to lay down on it and feel asleep. This resulted him going through the x ray machine. I would have loved to seen the airport security person who saw the body on the monitor and what he was thinking when he saw that image pop up on his screen.


Here is the link to the article:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug/09/norweigan-tourist-xray-rome-airport

When a guy is not hubby material

I did a blog not too long ago on ‘What’s not wifey material’ so I have decided to do another but this time on what makes a guy not boyfriend material.


He rings you on private number

If every time he rings you, you find yourself always answering the call like this:

‘Hello whose this’ 

His just not hubby material. Why is he ringing you on private number some next shifty behaviour.

He only rings you at late night hours

Either his internet connection has cut out or his still on a dial up connection.  He has no pornographic material to help him out in his hour of need. So he scrolls down his phone and he sees your number and thinks

‘This girl is so on me. I bet she will send me some pictures or even vids if I tell her I really miss her’

You’re not even a booty call you below a booty call you’re a five finger shovel, five knuckle shuffle, a flog the log, you’re genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion in other words you’re wank material. If he only rings you at late night hours he is just hubby material.

You only see him on the weekend when his drunk

His gone out raving or just out to a bar, not only has he not been successful in getting someone back he hasn’t even been successful in getting a 2:00am girl (basically the worse girls at kicking out time of a club who nobody was drunk enough to pick up) So he thinks of you, he rings your phone and you see him on your caller I.D. and you overjoyed to hear from him even though his drunk. He asks you can he come round yours; you’re like ‘Yes please do’. He comes round; drills you and leaves in the morning where you won't  hear from him until the next time he has an unsuccessful night. This behaviour equals to him just not being hubby material.

The only time you go on a date is to his bedroom watching DVDs'

He doesn’t even care to take you to the pub or bar this equates to two things

1. He thinks your  bum ugly but hasn’t had sex for a while so his desperate, but not desperate enough to be seen out in public with you.

2. No talking, no trying to disguise what he wants he just wants to DRILL!!!!!!!!!!!

His just not hubby material

Rude Boys

If you're 16 and below and act like a rude boy you can be forgiven as you’re still a ‘boy’ a definition of a ‘boy’ is ‘A young male human, usually child or adolescent. When he becomes an adult he's described as a man.’

If you’re are above the age of 16 and still acting like a rude boy you're ‘pathetic’ If your struggling to figure out what a Rude boy is let me give you a definition of one:

They look like they have fallen out of a JD sports catalogue

They talk like Sloth out of the Goonies.
(See video below)

Rude Boys can usually be heard saying things like:

‘Money over everything’

‘Money over hoes’

‘My mixtape is dropping soon’

‘Fuck the Police’

‘Can I have the two piece meal boss’

‘Ketchup and mayonnaise boss’

‘I got my last £20 and I’m gonna pick up a scores of weed’

‘Nah blud man don’t read books I’m not a batty man’

‘I can’t read fam’

‘I got beef with my baby mums’

I could go on. They also have a knack for blaming anything and everyone for their problems. For instance, I can’t read because of the lluminati, I can’t get a job because of the Illuminati , I got 4 kids by 4 different girls' because of the Illuminati, and so on. Certain girls love rude boys but that’s cool because these girls are just as dumb as the guys they like so they are welcome to each other. Rude boys rarely grow up hence the ‘boy’ in rude they still do the stuff they were doing when they was 15 when they are 35 but with suitable differences, instead of hanging outside the chicken shop, they hang outside the betting shop or the pub but doing the same thing. When they used to stand outside the chicken shop they could be seen not buying chicken when they stand outside the betting shop they can be seen not placing any bets, as they stand outside the pub they can be seen not buying drinks. Why is this? Because they are broke. Rude boys never have any money even when they have money.

Girls that don’t pay on dates

You get into the bar or pub with your date. Being a gentlemen you offer to buy her a drink. The first drinks are finished time to go to the bar to get another round………….the girl doesn’t offer to get the next round, but just sits there blankly expecting you to get the next drinks, and ultimately all the drinks for the rest of the night. I am not your man, this is the first time I have taken you out I hardly know you, but yet your taking money of me like I am your man. In a world where women scream independence gassed up on Beyonce and Jessie J songs. Your independence is not showing through tonight is it luv.  How can you sit there and feel comfortable allowing your date to shell out round after round for you when it’s the first date there are several names for women like that; pikey trampy, scumbag, and freeloader. Now the first date isn’t a sure thing for anything this first date could be the only date, and somewhere on that date the girl will know it, but yet will still continue to drink your money. So it’s alright for the guy to spend money on you but his not good enough to be with you another word springs to mind which I shall not retort. If you’re going on a date it should be 50/50 you’re both in the same boat where one or the other may think ‘you know what you’re not really for me’.

Girls who speak with slang

There is nothing more unattractive then hearing girls talk like rude boys with slang. Sounding like they could be Giggs’s hype man. 

‘Thats ard bodied’

‘On this ting’

‘Wa gwan’

‘Im a boss’

Please shut up your making my ears bleed.  When I hear girls refer to themselves as ‘I’m a boss’ I literally piss myself like a poorly potty trained toddler. ‘I’m a boss’ how can anyone sit there and not cringe when you have a lady describing herself as gangster a Gee, but I digress, guys who talk like this sound utterly ridiculous 100 per cent of the time but hearing girls talk like that...well that is a whole different level of ridiculous, but what is even worse is when women into their mid 30’s talk like this. It just makes me want to pick up a Collins Dictionary and beat them around the head with and then a run up and a whack with a Thesaurus hopefully both will have a positive effect.   

My ipod playlist for being stranded on a Desert Island

I 'm compiling a list of tunes that if I had to make a playlist on my ipod to accompany me being stranded on a desert island what tunes would be on it.

The first tune would have to be Dr Dre ft Snoop Dogg - Next Episode and here is the reason why

This tune will always have a firm place in my heart. This was the theme tune to my summer back in 2000. Imagine a dozen or so teenagers hanging standing atop a kitchen work top and slamming the cupboard doors of the kitchen units open and shut along to this tune. With someone by the CD player reloading the tune barely allowing a minute of it to play now imagine that going on for 20 minutes with everyone screaming LA DA DA DA  DA DA DA DA DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That sums up a smidge of how much me and my boys abused this tune on are youth club weekend away to Pontins in Liverpool. I can close my eyes now and still see guys hanging out of windows, off kitchen cupboards screaming this tune as loud as they can pure and utter chaos. I also  love this tune because it takes me back to a time when me and my boys where still just boys just kids still knocking for each other to see if we was playing out. Taking whole loafs of bread from our houses to go gold fish fishing (we never caught anything) still in love with WWF wresting being able to tell all the wrestlers who had beef with who and who held each belt. So you get the drift a tune with a lot of nostalgia.  

'Top Boy' Why it didn't work for me

Top Boy had a massive advertising push by Channel 4 something they hadn’t done in a long time for a drama. A massive poster campaign accompanied, by numerous TV spots. In my eyes it didn’t live up to the buzz.  Don’t get me wrong I thought the acting was brilliant; the last scene where the young main protagonist goes to stab Ashley Walters character I thought was beautifully staged with the non diegetic music the acting in this scene was intense, powerful and wholly believable. My gripe with the show is that it’s another tale about poor working class kids in London’s ghettos selling drugs and stabbing and shooting each other we have seen this all before. Top Boy didn’t do anything new or fresh with this story and the message I got from the end of it is, that you can sell drugs, murder people get away with it and live the high life . Dramas like these should be a cautionary tale that this isn’t the way out of poverty not reinforce the council estate way of mind. They had the platform to do something fresh with this story; I believe if they had told the story through the depressed mothers eyes (the mother of the protagonist) I believe Top Boy would have told an innovative story and would have brought freshness to this tale.  I for one am quite bored of this portrayal of ‘supposed black culture’ (I say supposed in the thinnest way) in films and dramas, it’s like there isn’t any normal black people out there who don’t live this lifestyle.  Where are all the stories about the positive black kids who don’t turn to a life of crime?  We have so many black actors and writers who are from rough estates across London who have made it in their chosen professions, where are the stories about these people who overthrew obstacles in the right way?

Geordie Shore

Only in this lost generation that you can put together a group of foul mouthed people with lack of morals who drink themselves stupid and call it entertainment. Shows like Geordie shore is peasant TV. We truly live in a decrepit time. Can't people see as a viewing audience you are being sold second rate TV? I have never watched the show so you probably asking how can I comment on it? Well is the show about a group of people who go out shagging and drinking? Yep I don't have to watch the show to know that that is what it is completely about. From everything I have heard and read on this horrific show has told me everything. Something somewhere has gone horribly wrong in youth culture today and it will only get worse with shows like Geordie Show getting top billing giving the next generation low aspirations in life. As why aspire to be anything great when you can have fame and fortune for being a slag or a lager lout.        

How not to Cheat on your Girlfriend during Fresher's Week

I have written a new short screenplay it is a bit naughty in places so be aware here is the link hope you enjoy it here is the link

http://www.circalit.com/dtona/projects/project_1333900583/

Synopsis 

After a night out of drinking during Fresher's week a guy finds himself in a lustful embrace with a girl who is not his girlfriend. We see his Forest Gump like thinking of coming up with a way to get out of the situation or fail and succumb to temptation

When a girl is not Wifey Material

She goes out raving Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. SHE IS NOT WIFEY MATERIAL! we all know that bird who no matter what day it is she will be out raving it up with  her favorite catchphrase  ‘You only live once’ Yes we only live once but I am sure there are more important things to do then drink ourselves stupid in bars and clubs in my eyes this is a basic girl a basic girl is just a girl who has nothing interesting about herself whatsoever she’s just a shell a void of fresh air

 If she lives for the weekend then SHE IS NOT WIFEY MATERIAL! in my eyes this shows a lack of ambition (she is basic). From my own personal experience when I was working shitty jobs I was never living for the weekend. I was planning and working out what I can do to get myself out of those jobs and onto a successful career.  Not counting the hours down to 5 pm on Friday and going out getting off my face Friday and Saturday only to go back to work on Monday and moan about my job.  So if she’s living for the weekend that’s a big no no not wifey material

If she has more male friends then you then SHE IS NOT WIFEY MATERIAL! when you text her and ask her what’s she’s doing she texts back and tells you she’s at Jerome’s house, when you ring her and ask what she’s done today she tells you she went to see Michael, when you ask her what she’s going to do today she tells you she’s going to go see Korey.  Now there is nothing wrong with girls having male friends I haven’t got a problem in the slightest with that. The reason why I say she’s not wifey material if she has more male friends then you is because girls like this have one common trait they are all DICKHEADS! Whose favourite topic is themselves, their favourite pastime is talking about themselves to anyone who will listen.

She has pictures on Facebook of herself sitting on nightclub toilets with her knickers down her ankles with a WKD Blue in her hand. Also pictures of herself pissed up laid out on nightclub floors and public pavements with her knickers on display. SHE IS NOT WIFEY MATERIAL! because it isn’t classy and what is a woman who isn’t classy and lady like? Not a woman at all I tell you that for free.

What Women Want

One of life’s most asked question What do women want?

Well I will tell you free of charge right now, what a woman wants is a guy to be the boss, you don’t have to be the alphas of alpha males but what you do need to do is let your girl (casually seeing, courting etc etc) know you firmly wear the trousers and that they're a good fit now and forever. Now I am not saying I am some sort of expert on women all I know about women you could fit in a shot glass, but what I do know is that a woman wants a man to be a man in the old fashioned sense of the word, a no nonsense guy who she feels safe and protected with.

No matter how strong headed or independent the woman is, a woman wants to feel looked after by her man mentally and physically even to the extent of her being put in her place by him (when it’s called for). Now fellas you can’t all of sudden a year into the relationship try and start to showcase you masculinity if you didn’t do it at the start, you need to start as you mean to go on because your girls just going to laugh at you for thinking all of a sudden you can wear the trousers. Yes we have all been there, when you meet a real nice girl and all of a sudden you turn into one big cliché of cheesy shows of affection, sheddding your masculinity to show this girl you’re a real nice catch, turning into a drenched wet blanket. When in reality all it takes is for you to be a man and show her you're the captain of this ship and just be a decent guy by being a gentlemen which is;

Not trying to drill her after the first date (hard I know but discipline)

Not even trying to kiss her on the first date (I put this 2^nd because certain guys try to drill even before a kiss has passed-naughty)

Not playing games that's what your PS3 is there for ( if you have a Xbox I hope you have better taste in your women than consoles)

Not letting her do all the chasing (should be 50/50 in my book)

Treat her with respect

And the greatest of all something I learnt from the first American Pie film is and I quote;

Oz: 'You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and sh**

Stifler: ‘I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.’

In reality it’s not a lot of work, because if you like the girl you could listen to what she has to say for hours upon hours zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (cheesy I know but thats for the chicks who might read this)

Black guys and White girls

‘If you are black man and not ghetto what is the point of you being black?’ that is the message that is coming from a majority of white girls (and some black/mixed race girls) who are attracted to black men only. Now I am not saying all white/black/mixed race girls think this that is not the case there are many girls who do not, I am just giving you an example of the girls who do and the reasons behind it.

You could be dirt a broke black man, dumb as they come, no prospects whatsoever, no ambition, eight  kids by eight different girls, but if your ghetto got a snapback (lol) and dressed like you could be a poster boy for JD sports you will still have your pick of the girls. Now spin that on its head if you're a black man educated, got a good job, nice guy, ambitious, articulate, going places, doesn’t own a snapback (lol) them same girls will not even bat an eyelid at you you are completely indivisible to them. How is that so? It doesn’t make sense. The thing that you have to understand is the media has created this image of what a black man is (from music videos and Films) the way he should act, the way he should talk and dress. It has gassed a lot of girls up beyond belief, where it has got to the point where in this lost generation we are living in the majority of white girls who get into relationships with a black men are attracted to the image the ghettoness rather than the man, he could be the biggest waste of space on road, but as the Rock says ‘It doesn’t matter’ because his hood his ghetto his got that swagger (I hate that word).

A white girl can go with a nice white guy with a good job who’s ambitious, articulate and going places so why would she get with a black man who is like that? Most white girls who tell you they are only attracted to black men and would never date a white man, want the image of a stereotypical black male it has turned into a most have trend like a Louis Vuitton bag or a pair Louboutin shoes now being a white male and ghetto isn’t the same as being a black male and ghetto as the media tells you it’s just white males being wananabes so its programmed into the society as very cringe. Hence why I said a white girl can get with a nice white boy with all the things I listed but he won’t be GHETTO like a black male as the media portrays I use the term ‘girls’ because that is what they are girls not woman but girls at some stage they are going to get to a point when they realise ‘ this guys a wasteman’ they get to the point where they start thinking I want a house a family a nice life nice things etc etc, that’s why you see a lot of white woman marrying African guys (who weren’t born or brought up in the said country) when they reach their late 20’s (or when they have matured mentally) the reason being these guys are going places 100 per cent on being successful and fully driven to get there.

I have experienced this madness first hand myself, I was coming back from work one time had the smart casual look going on smart shirt, navy chinos, nice pair of shoes, in a nutshell I was looking professional. Now I walked passed a group of girls who where in my direct eye line not one of them even batted an eyelid. A few days later I was dressed casual as one can be I had my snapback on now I don’t really wear hats but I wore it anyways as it was a hot day and I wanted to keep the sun out of my eyes, I end up walking pass a couple of the same girls I walked passed prior a few days ago, now this time they looked so hard I thought they was going snap their necks. (That is just a small example I have bigger ones but then this blog will go on page after page)

Now I have compiled a list of what these girls look for in a black ghetto male below:

1. Most be somehow involved in grime scene mcing preferably, or just a guy who writes bars on his phone.

2. Colour coordinated tracksuits, with trainers and hats (looking like you fallen out of a pack of skittles)

3. Has a weed habit

4. ON THIS TING!!!! (see number 1)

5. Jamaican

6. A blackberry is a most as 99 per cent of this girls have blackberrys and they aren’t on sms-ing (how else are you going to get in contact with them )

7. Most talk black (whatever talking black means still to this day I am at a loss)

8. Involved in criminal activities you don’t have to be a mastermind criminal like Professor James Moriarty or even make money in fact make no money, just as long as you seem to be criminal it’s all kosher

9. A wasteman (self explanatory )

10. Do dumb stuff like buy a car unlegitally but can’t afford to run it so you have to borrow petrol money of the said girls I am talking about

11. Any black hertiatge but most act like number 5 (thats for you to look at number 5 if you didn’t realise)

12 A Bokey guy

Spartacus Vengeance: Season 2 Finale

There are not enough superlatives I can rain on the Season Finale of Spartacus: Vengeance, but I will use one here ‘Breathtaking’ from start to finish this has to be one of the best season finales of a TV Show ever and I have seen some corkies such as Spartacus: Blood and Sand season 1 finale, Lost’s Through the Looking Glass Season 3 finale and also its truly mind blowing season 5 finale The Incident. Starz retelling of Spartacus has been critically acclaimed since its debut and holds a 4 and a half star rating on the Rotten Tomatoes website. There was a delay of 2 years of this season coming out due to the unfortunate death of Andy Whitfield (who lost his battle against cancer may his soul rest in peace) who played Spartacus in its debut season. His portrayal of Spartacus was highly regarded as he played Spartacus with aplomb and intensity, so like a lot of people I thought where will the show go with a new actor playing Spartacus? The mantle passed to Liam McIntyre who has done a real good job, and he fully shined in this season’s Finale where all hell breaks loose into a bloody climax of madness. The climatic end scenes with the juxtapositions of different scenes, the non diegetic music and choreographed fighting; is furious, brutal and beautiful all at the same time. In these scenes are some of the best choreographed fight scenes I have seen not just on this show but movies as well. Spartacus Blood and Sand’s (season 1) finale was also a magnificent piece of TV so for Starz to do it again with this finale I was truly taken aback. The art of good TV is to keep the viewers guessing and be unpredictable with where you’re going, they did this last night as you honestly did not have an idea to what was going to happen. Bring on the next season of Spartacus in 2013.

You can watch a preview of it below:

The bad side of Facebook...Narcissism

Have you met somebody recently and you’re not sure if they are a prick or an airhead? One quick fire way to find out this information...go check their Facebook or Twitter it will take you all of 2 seconds to get the answer to your question. We now live in a social network oriented society where it is deemed unusual if you do not have an online presence. More and more people are setting up Facebook and Twitter accounts. These accounts can showcase a person’s personality to its bare bones. I recently read a study where Researchers established a direct link between the number of friends you have on Facebook and the degree to which you are a narcissist. The study went onto say that these people suffered from these two things;
Grandiose Exhibitionism (GE) GE includes "self-absorption, vanity, superiority, and exhibitionistic tendencies" and people who score high on this aspect of narcissism need to be constantly at the centre of attention.
And
Entitlement/Exploitativeness (EE) The EE aspect includes "a sense of deserving respect and a willingness to manipulate and take advantage of others".
‘Carol Craig, a social scientist and chief executive of the Center for Confidence and Well-being, said young people in Britain were becoming increasingly narcissistic and Facebook provided a platform for the disorder.’

If anyone knows me this is something I have been harping on for ages. So I have pulled my own years of research (LoL) into a step by step guide to suffers of GE and EE

That person with over a thousand friends

‘The research revealed that the higher someone scored on aspects of GE, the greater the number of friends they had on Facebook, with some amassing more than 800.’

They went on like 800 is a big number, when more and more people are well over a 1000 some easily into 2000. All these people with these numbers of ‘so called friends’ (I say so called friends because in reality who do you know who hangs out with a thousand people) have all the same traits. Fully gassed, loves themselves and professional posers. The article went onto say

'Those scoring highly on EE and GE were also more likely to accept friend requests from strangers and seek social support, but less likely to provide it, according to the research.'

These people love to collect facebook friends for one sole purpose ‘Attention’ In terms of females it’s that girl with a profile picture with the focus on her chest all spilling out of her top, she has well over a 1000 friends licking her arsehole with constant likes and comments on her picture’s, and she doesn’t or even wants to strike up a conversation with these guys just loves the attention that’s a heavy case of GE and EE

The Facebook update status warrior

We all know this person  the person who doesn’t let their statuses' breath; constantly updating them with 5 minute intervals with complete and utter nonsense about how fantastic their lives are but yet they spend 24/7 telling you about it which poses the question when do they live these fantastic lives'? this is Grandiose Exhibitionism to a T

The guy who states his A CEO in his work section

I am not going to lie there was a time I would have done this (with only the viewpoint to attract girls) but I was lucky enough to not let the gas get to me and I smelt the fresh air of humbleness. We all seen that guy who claim to be a CEO of their company (which they run from their bedrooms) what board of directors are you reporting to mate? The definition of an CEO 'Is an individual appointed as a CEO of a corporation, company, organisation, or agency typically reporting to the board of directors' the last time I checked your hustle doesn’t have a board of directors. Now I am not having a go at people who are on trying to set up a business, I applaud people who have an entrepreneurship spirit, but its people who claim to be a CEO (gas mode to try and gas up other people’s heads usually females) when they are anything but. If your business is not trading and making money it is not a business it’s just a plan so allow the fancy titles and concentrate on making your business idea a reality.

Constant Profile picture changes

This is self explanatory but I shall go on. That person who will change their profile picture 5 times a day at least...two words....Grandiose Exhibitionism

The self tagging fiends

The person who is constantly tagging themselves in everything and anything, the picture of their new haircut, the picture of some lame cake they baked, the picture of their McDonalds breakfast, the picture of their paper cut on their finger, the picture of their new trainers, the picture of  Nandos as they are about to enter, the picture of their Nandos, the picture of their eaten Nandos; you get the picture.